I enjoy writing to MP's. It's nice to be constantly reminded how impotent our elected servants are. Today I am feeling particularly sarcastic and have recycled my work (one must do ones bit for the environment) and heavily plagiarised EU referendum.
Dear Phillip, (is that one L or two?)
I am aware that you must have better things to do than read emails from non-constituents but you are the closest thing to a Conservative in the district and so I thought it better to make you aware of this. You need take no action but this is just to lodge firmly in your mind why this government is not to be trusted with our money.
There is on the Bradford junction of the M62, not one but two of these...
Solar and wind powered speed signs. I would not belittle your worth by asking you to ask the Secretary of State for Transport how much these things cost. I am quite sure we will not like the answer. I shall not ask what was wrong with the conventional reflective signs either.
The point is, and I ask you this as a taxpayer, when I have state hired goons from private debt companies threatening to bash down my door to collect the pound of flesh that I owe to the fiefdom, why on earth should I part with a single penny if this is how they intend on spending it? I already know the answer to that. Because they will bash down your door and arrest you again if you don't.
Does this ring true with David Camerons vision of Britain when he opines that "We're living in a new world of freedom, where people have more power and control over their own lives"??
Secondly, On returning from my expedition to obtain that photograph I followed a police transit van marked "this vehicle is fitted with Per-Tec emmsission control". Since when were police vehicles considered suitable advertising space and furthermore, do they not think that it would produce considerably less emissions were it not armoured like a Fort Knox vault?
This also begs the question, and I understand there may be some call for armoured vehicles in certain areas of Bradford, as to why I have seen half a dozen heavily armoured police vans in the last few days? Are the police expecting something we should know about? Perhaps the peasants revolt is closer than we thought? Not before time if so.
And is it not curious that the police should have the luxury of heavily armoured vehicles yet the soldiers we send to actual war zones do not? See my prior letter about Snatch Land Rovers.
This is what worries me. In what ways will a conservative victory change this?